As a military veteran, I was conditioned to believe that service and sacrifice were one and the same. From early on in my life, I was taught that to serve others—whether in the military, in relationships, or in the workplace—meant I had to constantly sacrifice something. This idea was deeply ingrained during my time in service, where the expectation was clear: to serve meant to sacrifice (up to and including the “ultimate” sacrifice, death). And after years of living this way, I carried that belief into every area of my life, convinced that true dedication required me to give up my own needs for the sake of others.
Through my work in The Mission After, a veteran’s development program led by Navy Veteran and Fitness Coach Mike Bledsoe, I’ve learned a powerful distinction: service and sacrifice are not synonymous. In fact, they are fundamentally different. This shift in perspective has been transformative, both personally and professionally.
From an early age, many of us are taught that "service" and "sacrifice" go hand in hand. The idea of selfless dedication seems inseparable from the notion of constantly giving up something, often our time, energy, or well-being. If you’ve been part of the military or worked in environments shaped by this mindset, it’s likely that you’ve internalized the belief that true service requires perpetual sacrifice.
The truth: Service and sacrifice are not synonymous.
When we equate service with sacrifice, we often feel obligated to deplete ourselves for the sake of others. In the workplace, this could look like long hours, missed family time, or neglecting our health and wellness in the name of loyalty to a company. In relationships, it might show up as overextending ourselves, thinking that love requires us to put our own needs last. However, constantly operating from this place of sacrifice is not only unsustainable but also less effective in the long term. It is a relic of a post-industrial, hierarchical view of leadership where martyring oneself for the "greater good" was once held up as the pinnacle of dedication.
But here's the thing: Times have changed.
In modern leadership and in thriving personal relationships, we are increasingly recognizing that self-care is not selfish. When we take care of ourselves—nurturing our physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health—we elevate the quality of our service. When we stop seeing service as synonymous with sacrifice, we create healthier, more productive environments, whether that’s within a company, a relationship, or a community.
When leaders prioritize their own well-being, they bring more to the table. Their decisions are more grounded, their relationships with colleagues are healthier, and the ripple effects of their wellness benefit the entire organization. The same applies to all areas of life. Service that stems from a place of strength, fulfillment, and self-awareness is far more valuable and sustainable than service born out of depletion or obligation.
This shift in mindset is particularly important as we move away from outdated models of business leadership. The old post-industrial idea of growth at any cost, often driven by leaders who martyr themselves in pursuit of success, is on the decline. Today’s most successful business ventures are led by individuals and teams who understand that collective success comes from shared effort, not from one person or a few individuals sacrificing everything.
Thriving organizations, communities, and relationships are built by people who work toward common goals without depleting themselves or others. By focusing on collaboration, mutual support, and personal well-being, we can create environments where service is not a burden but an energizing, purposeful contribution.
So, what’s the real difference between service and sacrifice?
Service is about offering your strengths to the world, while keeping your own well-being intact. Sacrifice, on the other hand, implies giving something up—often to your detriment. When you serve without sacrifice, you are operating from a place of fullness, offering your best self to the task at hand, and inspiring others to do the same. The leaders and communities who embrace this distinction are the ones who will thrive in today’s rapidly evolving world.
When we learn to serve without sacrifice, we not only contribute more meaningfully to our personal and professional relationships, but we also set an example for others. We show that it’s possible to achieve great things without burning out, to build without breaking ourselves down, and to succeed while staying whole.
Am I a business coach, or a personal coach?
When I’m asked whether my coaching is personal or professional, I always find myself hesitating to answer. The truth is, I struggle with this question because the line between personal and professional goals is much blurrier than most people think. Whether someone comes to me with aspirations to grow their business or improve their personal life, I quickly discover that the real work to be done always comes back to them—how they are depleting or caring for themselves on a personal level.
No matter what the goal is, the journey toward achieving it is deeply personal. It’s about how my clients manage their energy, take care of their health, and regulate their emotional well-being. These are the foundations of sustainable success. When clients learn to prioritize themselves in healthy ways, they can offer more value-dense effort toward their goals—whether that’s launching a new business venture, leading a team, or nurturing personal relationships. So, is my coaching personal or professional? It’s always both, because you can’t separate the two. The quality of your professional output is directly tied to how well you are taking care of yourself personally. And once my clients realize this, the growth they experience is profound.
-Jason
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